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Quiet Takes's avatar

Enneagram 1: Will have a well-structured argument for the most morally correct way to dip it in some froth. 2: Will help you dip it in some froth. 3: Will be the best at dipping it in some froth, no question. 4: Will make you cry while dipping it in some froth. 5: Will research the history of dipping it in some froth. 6: Will alert you to the dangers of dipping it in some froth. 7: Will dip it in ALL the froths. 8: Will fight you over the froth. 9: Will make sure everybody gets some froth before remembering to dip theirs in, too.

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Dana's avatar

HOLD UP. I fully stand by this "tall personality" theory. People forget how short I am to the point that when I reference being short, they'll often say "you're not THAT short." I remind them that I'm not even 5'2", and they become temporarily confused. "Well... Maybe it's because you wear a lot of tall shoes?" I do not; on occasion, sure, but not enough to set a standard. My suspicion has always been that it's because I'm loud—I just have a naturally loud & low-pitched voice that people generally don't expect from a petite human such as myself. But I prefer your "tall personality" theory—that it's that I don't keep my personality pruned down to an appropriate bonsai height most of the time, which similarly makes me both popular and unpopular in my Midwestern hometown, but here in LA, it all evens out.

This whole piece is spectacular and greatly makes me want to blow off work for frothy pineapple cocktails and really good tortilla chips.

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