Every time I try to explain to my family that the whole world is insane and humanity is literally destroying itself due to its delusions they act like I am the crazy one. Being depressed about climate change garunteeing my future is fucked is apparently just being a doomer. Being bummed the nation I am trapped in was couped by sociopathic billionaires waging economic war on the rest of us is apparently not allowed. I am told I should be worshipping these evil fucks and believing every word they say because I am poor and therefore my morals and opinions on literally anything are irrelevant but theirs are the word of god. Civilizational gaslighting of this magnitude is excruciating to deal with. I basically had to unplug from all news sources outside of substack just to maintain a modicum of my sanity. Otherwise I would probably never stop howling at the absurdity of it all.
It's hard to move around the world with these howls that (seemingly) others are missing, because we've been trained to shrug, and accept, expect even, shrugs. IDK what I'm trying to say other than: thank you for writing and sharing this piece. Felt a bit like it looked directly into my eyes, into my soul, and made itself at home with all I've been struggling to organize, to put into words myself.
This moved me more than I am capable of expressing.
I am comforted to know there is someone else out there who truly gets this and who is still capable of howling and not just shrugging everything off. You have no idea how badly I needed your words right now. Thank you.
Last night scrolling through Reddit and first a post about a bison that tossed an old man 8 feet in the air, then a post about Uvalde, then a border collie herding baby ducks, then someone's cozy living room, then someone asking if they are the asshole, everything flattened out to the same level of importance. And as I scroll still stuck on what I read about Uvalde and feeling sick sick sick, I'm trying to compartmentalize so I won't feel such utter bottomless grief for those families and fear for my children, nephews, future grandchildren, all children, this world. But there is no compartmentalizing and I know its better to be human and feel sick with grief than anesthetize myself with cozy living rooms. Thank you for this, a reminder that it is ok to not be ok while still functioning and hoping. Your writing is a lifeline.
Absolutely wonderful piece. 🙏Discernment is the word of the moment in my world and requires intellect and heart and the willingness to see truth. Thank you! ❤️
I feel this…and the self-revulsion of swiping past images of genocide for a few years. It has changed me, and I am searching for the sock drawer. At which point you won’t hear from me, though I’ll gift my words to true lovers, friends, and comrades.
"Put your phone in a paper bag and hide it in your sock drawer like a handgun." <-- this made my heart skip.
Every time I try to explain to my family that the whole world is insane and humanity is literally destroying itself due to its delusions they act like I am the crazy one. Being depressed about climate change garunteeing my future is fucked is apparently just being a doomer. Being bummed the nation I am trapped in was couped by sociopathic billionaires waging economic war on the rest of us is apparently not allowed. I am told I should be worshipping these evil fucks and believing every word they say because I am poor and therefore my morals and opinions on literally anything are irrelevant but theirs are the word of god. Civilizational gaslighting of this magnitude is excruciating to deal with. I basically had to unplug from all news sources outside of substack just to maintain a modicum of my sanity. Otherwise I would probably never stop howling at the absurdity of it all.
It's hard to move around the world with these howls that (seemingly) others are missing, because we've been trained to shrug, and accept, expect even, shrugs. IDK what I'm trying to say other than: thank you for writing and sharing this piece. Felt a bit like it looked directly into my eyes, into my soul, and made itself at home with all I've been struggling to organize, to put into words myself.
This moved me more than I am capable of expressing.
I am comforted to know there is someone else out there who truly gets this and who is still capable of howling and not just shrugging everything off. You have no idea how badly I needed your words right now. Thank you.
Last night scrolling through Reddit and first a post about a bison that tossed an old man 8 feet in the air, then a post about Uvalde, then a border collie herding baby ducks, then someone's cozy living room, then someone asking if they are the asshole, everything flattened out to the same level of importance. And as I scroll still stuck on what I read about Uvalde and feeling sick sick sick, I'm trying to compartmentalize so I won't feel such utter bottomless grief for those families and fear for my children, nephews, future grandchildren, all children, this world. But there is no compartmentalizing and I know its better to be human and feel sick with grief than anesthetize myself with cozy living rooms. Thank you for this, a reminder that it is ok to not be ok while still functioning and hoping. Your writing is a lifeline.
Your pen is utter magic. You speak to those of us willing to un-vibe and I am always so grateful. ❤️
Wow!,I never knew anyone else thought like this! Thank you for validating my daydreams! Very cool.
Grief, grieving, griever💔
Bless
Absolutely wonderful piece. 🙏Discernment is the word of the moment in my world and requires intellect and heart and the willingness to see truth. Thank you! ❤️
I feel this…and the self-revulsion of swiping past images of genocide for a few years. It has changed me, and I am searching for the sock drawer. At which point you won’t hear from me, though I’ll gift my words to true lovers, friends, and comrades.
Thank you for this. I have so much anguish about the shrug. :-(
I'm out here listening to the howl of pain. It never stops. It turns into background noise.
These words blew me away! Just, wow. Thank you!
I told my favorite aunt how much she meant to me. After her death, I howled. Rage, injustice. Pain.
Glorious pain.
Beautiful unsettling and true.
Thank you.