Billions

What's the point of zero money if no fuck you times?

Powder Puff (2022), Flora Yukhnovich

Happy Fuck You Times, soulmates! Billionaires and robots, robots and billionaires, which better? Hard to say, but I know you're all holding space for defying gravity as well as breaking all other laws of time and space and sound and light as needed. Laws going extinct as we speak, hallelujah to savior Daddy!

How to celebrate? Mmmm, you need a wholesome meat-and-greetery or fun family arcadia for digital gaming and rifle maiming or deep-fried fam-focused fantasia where no one is godless or childless or penniless or homeless or helpless, a place where you and your adorable litter of hot-blooded American babies might relish the new dawn of lily-white greatness and celebrate a future of having infinity butt-white children who’ll be under-un-miseducated and give birth to their own billions of babies and die of plague or chicken pox or measles but no matter, have more childs, everyone! Babies never run out. Lady loins strictly surveilled, but none other laws!

But where to relish mucho less laws plus brand new wealth that whites will make once no DEI and unions murdered and minimum wage abolished and labor laws and regulations just funny-joke artifacts of 20^th century woke-horror past?

ZUCK E. BEEZ!

Here at Zuck E. Beez, we frolic with animatronic billionaire beasts to celebrate isolationist Americana heavenland! Feed your Bitcoin token into Zuck’s quivering squirrel maw and watch the world’s fave rodent-mogul waterski shirtless while singing new national country-pop insurrectionist anthem “Zuck The Police!” Add more coinz to hear Zucky rap “Straight Outta White Plains!” and “Bitches Ain’t Shit But Hos and Tricks!” (Some timeless classics need zero alterations!)

After that, visit the Taco Bell Tower for a Nachos Supreme-Assist from the AI-powered Macho Supreme-Assistant, a deluge of rifle-powered Macho-Nacho cheez raining down from on high, washed down with Coke Zero Memory or Orange Fanta-cist, which wash brain of critical thinking and DEI-driven educational initiatives. Yum, life so sweet-like and simple-ish!

Next, take your pretty DOGEcoin and slip it up the quivering bear butthole of the richest bitch-boy on the flat Earth, to watch him give the most heartfelt downward-palmed hello to your pretty white boyz and girlz and no otherwise-gendered spawnlets. That’s no Sieg Heil, is just mucho more efficient and unregulated way of waving hello to your fave Capitalisto-Taco-Supreme-Assist beasties and Fascio-Macho-Supreme-Assist besties!

Now watch Musky the BugBear sing “Panzerlied” (on all-USA joys of eating at Panera!) and “Horst-Wessel-Lied” (anti-big-government anthem about leading a horse to water but horse no drink!). Why not next shove a DOGEcoin into the patrio-riotous bunghole of Cybertruck Adventure ‘Splosion, so fun! Congresso-commie-mommies go to jail and Cybertruck go boom at end. Watch out for flying shrapnel, whitelettes!

Scan the Amazon Prime barcode tattoo on your left forearm to hear Beez the Bald Eagle say your full Christian social-insecurity numerals and God-distributed gender pronouns, then tabulate your total Amazon spend for the year (Congrats, Big Spendy!) then sing wholesome Christian pop hit “Democracy Who? Darkness How?” while drones (aka Worker Beez!) drop packages on babyheads, fun clunk-and-ouch suspense times! God is great!

Billionaires and robots, robots and billionaires, which better? Answer is BOTH. Billionaire bot-boyz are besties and bestiest, the beastliest bitch-bots in town! Now let’s all sing “Bend the Knees to Beez” and “Elon Ago and Far Away” and “Zucker Up, Buttercup,” and feel the nostagio-glow of no more ghoulish non-Christians (Zuck no count) or evil drug-snorting foreigners (Musky never count) anywhere, ever.

At Zuck E. Beez we are all billionaires (except when it comes to actual money which never count anymore anyway anywhere except everywhere all the time, whatever, hawktuah-to-you-uh!) and we’re all smart-ish like robots (except robots have memories and process reality at least a little, what does that mean, who cares).

Greatness is the greatest of all time, thank you Jesus and thank you Beezus!

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Thanks for reading Ask Molly! Wow this sucks! This post was a quickie, but what are you here for, if not instant instantiation of your emotional situation? Sloppiness must be endured for the sake of mental sanitation. Remember: Green leaves, exercise, municipal water, seeds, friendship, napping, workaholism, more exercise, more greens, more naps. Happy Fuck-You Times, soulmates!