The second section especially! I'm pretty sure somewhere in an alternate but not-to-distant universe I wrote this in sharpie on a wall-sized mirror at Louis Vuitton. Beyond relatable, and I love it.
Also, I find myself this week throwing off a horrible, dull smallness I shrank into during a four year period of intense, life-altering illness that I wasn't expected to recover from. It's the most unusual feeling. I wonder if Eurydice had made it out- would she remember who she was? I don't. So I'm making new.
“Stupid people are everywhere. And stupid people love stupid ideas a lot. They ingest them with gusto, defend them ferociously, disseminate them like bird shit scattered across an already shit-crusted landscape, until everyone is stupider and stupider and stupidest.” An excellent reminder as I board a plane for Las Vegas. (For work. I promise.)
Side note, not that you're asking, but I also have dogs and love the shit outta' of them. Bully sticks that stink have been dehydrated after they already started to rot. Rotten food can potentially be bad for your dog (although the stink is terribly interesting to them.) Pawstruck is a brand that dehydrates fresh bully sticks. I've never had a dog get sick on the rotten ones, but I feel better when my furry toddlers aren't gnawing on something gross. All my love! Love your writing! Keep it coming!
"Nature wants pyrotechnics from me, not gentle stretching and thank you notes!" This is exactly the vibe I wanted on this morning, the 100th day of my cycle. Thank you, Molly.
Heather, I think I'm in love! Who the hell ARE you? This has been the most entertaining, irreverent, well-written, hilarious gonzo shit I've encountered in a while. Instant fan......
Well obviously quitting coffee was an act of self-loathing out of guilt for being fabulous. Aight, done with that, better days ahead. I knew once you mentioned the bully sticks where you'd end up. Love it even when I can see the end. Executed perfectly.
OMG, yes! This is just what I needed today. Geez, nice to read someone who isn’t so mesmerized by the abyss that’s it’s all they can talk about. ❤️ p.s. Three sets of big chewers over the past few decades & the answer for us has been the wildly successful cure that is Benebone. Just sayin’.
Heather, I think that your black tea is also good for you. That has not changed! One of the health mechanisms is tied to caffeine, present in both tea and coffee. There are also other beneficial phyto-chemicals in tea. Coffee and black tea both contain polyphenols, which act as anti-oxidants.
Unfortunately, the polyphenols and flavonols in wine don't offset the harmful effects of alcohol. We may be able to tolerate alcohol at concentrations 8 to 40 times higher than our great ape cousins, but alcohol is still harmful to us over the long haul.
Thanks for the morning laugh. I’ve decided, at this late stage of life (56) to do whatever I please. Including drinking coffee, sipping red wine and sitting in the sun.
Bully sticks. The smell is terrible. I can only imagine they taste worse. But I’m not gonna find out!
The second section especially! I'm pretty sure somewhere in an alternate but not-to-distant universe I wrote this in sharpie on a wall-sized mirror at Louis Vuitton. Beyond relatable, and I love it.
Also, I find myself this week throwing off a horrible, dull smallness I shrank into during a four year period of intense, life-altering illness that I wasn't expected to recover from. It's the most unusual feeling. I wonder if Eurydice had made it out- would she remember who she was? I don't. So I'm making new.
Congratulations and enjoy everything you want to become!
“Stupid people are everywhere. And stupid people love stupid ideas a lot. They ingest them with gusto, defend them ferociously, disseminate them like bird shit scattered across an already shit-crusted landscape, until everyone is stupider and stupider and stupidest.” An excellent reminder as I board a plane for Las Vegas. (For work. I promise.)
The twist ending was a Soylent Green-level reveal!
Accurate.
Side note, not that you're asking, but I also have dogs and love the shit outta' of them. Bully sticks that stink have been dehydrated after they already started to rot. Rotten food can potentially be bad for your dog (although the stink is terribly interesting to them.) Pawstruck is a brand that dehydrates fresh bully sticks. I've never had a dog get sick on the rotten ones, but I feel better when my furry toddlers aren't gnawing on something gross. All my love! Love your writing! Keep it coming!
"Nature wants pyrotechnics from me, not gentle stretching and thank you notes!" This is exactly the vibe I wanted on this morning, the 100th day of my cycle. Thank you, Molly.
Heather, I think I'm in love! Who the hell ARE you? This has been the most entertaining, irreverent, well-written, hilarious gonzo shit I've encountered in a while. Instant fan......
I have never laughed so hard in all my life. I’m 70 and I could truly relate—more than you know!
This is Brilliant!!
Well obviously quitting coffee was an act of self-loathing out of guilt for being fabulous. Aight, done with that, better days ahead. I knew once you mentioned the bully sticks where you'd end up. Love it even when I can see the end. Executed perfectly.
OMG, yes! This is just what I needed today. Geez, nice to read someone who isn’t so mesmerized by the abyss that’s it’s all they can talk about. ❤️ p.s. Three sets of big chewers over the past few decades & the answer for us has been the wildly successful cure that is Benebone. Just sayin’.
Heather, the part about donuts and heroin had me giggling! A cup of coffee is the most antioxidants the average American gets a day, lean in!
Heather, I think that your black tea is also good for you. That has not changed! One of the health mechanisms is tied to caffeine, present in both tea and coffee. There are also other beneficial phyto-chemicals in tea. Coffee and black tea both contain polyphenols, which act as anti-oxidants.
Unfortunately, the polyphenols and flavonols in wine don't offset the harmful effects of alcohol. We may be able to tolerate alcohol at concentrations 8 to 40 times higher than our great ape cousins, but alcohol is still harmful to us over the long haul.
The fact bully rides again!
Nothing like eating a bag of dicks to keep you pissed off. 🤣 Bully sticks are so gross.
Welcome back to the world of coffee. We have cookies too. ;)
Thanks for this hilarious post. I needed a good laugh or 10.
Thanks for the morning laugh. I’ve decided, at this late stage of life (56) to do whatever I please. Including drinking coffee, sipping red wine and sitting in the sun.
Bully sticks. The smell is terrible. I can only imagine they taste worse. But I’m not gonna find out!
Are you really Sirius? Loved your story💚
Coffee Molly fuck yeah!!!