Absolutely beautiful and spot on. As the mother of eight adult children who rarely gather together, I am learning now, that everyone wants to be heard. They do t want to be pushed, prodded or provoked by me. I can’t teach them now. They are adults. I will draw a hot bath and serve. Love all. Serve all. Let them feel loved.
I always loved the cycle of generations, seeing people come in as babies, grow up, find partners and have kids for themselves... And it was still such a shock for me to go from being the kid in the room, to suddenly being the oldest generation. It happens so fast, and it's these family meals where you really feel it.
I am married to a family that also makes a very strange culturally-specific meal every year, I loved your perspective on it! And the family dynamics - that just hit me right in my soul, after coming home from Christmas Eve with all of mine. WOOF. Loved it, needed that. Feeling more prepared for round two tomorrow 💜
“What sucked was that I didn’t understand that the tiniest little weirdness or moment of assertiveness on my part would reinforce the preexisting cartoon version of me dramatically, because that’s how it is to see people two or three times a year.”
But I can't help but get hung up on "don’t actually struggle to maintain relationships with other people in most cases." - because the fun part is when a member of your family you have always struggled with moves near to you and they, in fact, do struggle to maintain relationships with other people. Which is why you are their lifeline and their default and the one they want to do everything with.
Cheater way to remember meanings of food in a ritual meal:
Bitter, dry, bland is always commemorating hardship.
Seeds & nuts are for future growth and abundance.
Honey and fruit bring sweetness into life.
Bread & fish/meat were traditionally communal efforts, so they are all about bringing people together and "The fruits of our labors".
These seem to be pretty consistent across time and space.
Absolutely beautiful and spot on. As the mother of eight adult children who rarely gather together, I am learning now, that everyone wants to be heard. They do t want to be pushed, prodded or provoked by me. I can’t teach them now. They are adults. I will draw a hot bath and serve. Love all. Serve all. Let them feel loved.
I always loved the cycle of generations, seeing people come in as babies, grow up, find partners and have kids for themselves... And it was still such a shock for me to go from being the kid in the room, to suddenly being the oldest generation. It happens so fast, and it's these family meals where you really feel it.
This is a piece of writing I hope to remember, I loved it and it is so true!
I am married to a family that also makes a very strange culturally-specific meal every year, I loved your perspective on it! And the family dynamics - that just hit me right in my soul, after coming home from Christmas Eve with all of mine. WOOF. Loved it, needed that. Feeling more prepared for round two tomorrow 💜
Marvelous writing! (That does sound like a strange meal, but to each their own! 😊)
I love this so much. С Рождеством.
cartoons brilliant nuff said
All of the above minus raw garlic🎄♥️
This is beautiful.
You nailed it again, Heather. It should be read by a much larger and wider group. You've given me a lovely and funny Christmas present.
Gorgeous, gorgeous post.
“What sucked was that I didn’t understand that the tiniest little weirdness or moment of assertiveness on my part would reinforce the preexisting cartoon version of me dramatically, because that’s how it is to see people two or three times a year.”
Oh HAY. C’est moi.
This is so good, and I needed to read it tonight. Thank you, thank you. I relate to SO MUCH of this.
This is so pretty!
But I can't help but get hung up on "don’t actually struggle to maintain relationships with other people in most cases." - because the fun part is when a member of your family you have always struggled with moves near to you and they, in fact, do struggle to maintain relationships with other people. Which is why you are their lifeline and their default and the one they want to do everything with.
That was a part that actually rang very true to me. Of course there are many iterations, including yours.