What do we do now? How do we talk about Twitter being down if we don’t have Twitter to talk about it? Do we actually have to go on Reddit? I’m not on Facebook anymore. Does Instagram even work for this? Why am I wondering where my earthquake preparedness kit is? Help? Anyone out there?
In other major-crisis-related news, I just told my husband I was going to make some gazpacho, since he just got his tooth/gum fucked with by a dentist, and he said he doesn't like gazpacho. He. Doesn't. Like. Gazpacho. How did I just discover this? Who even stays married anymore, and why?
Dearest Abigail - The blue birds I have been using to dispatch my letters to you from the front have all died in a colossal orange shitstorm. I fear I may never see you or the children again. Please tell William Junior I value him as a laborer. Yours ever, William.
From the washington examiner 8 minutes ago: The crash occurred on Thursday about one hour before a scheduled Social Media Summit at the White House was scheduled to take place. The president intends to discuss alleged bias against certain political ideologies across social media. Twitter and Facebook were not invited.
how journalists are howling into the void: SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Twitter says it is investigating a problem with its service . Users across the U.S. and elsewhere are not able to access Twitter.
Also DJTrump today: “A big subject today at the White House Social Media Summit will be the tremendous dishonesty, bias, discrimination, and suppression practiced by certain companies. We will not let them get away with it much longer.”
I was working and didn't even know it was down until I got a WhatsApp message about it and then saw this in my email. THANK GOD. What if I'd missed the Twitter outage? Then I'd have nothing to talk about on Twitter when it's back up.
CNN: A conspiracy theorist, a meme creator and a plagiarist. Those are just some of the eyebrow raising attendees who will descend on the White House on Thursday for an event that will likely become a forum for airing claims of anti-conservative social media bias.
Wait...maybe we're the new twitter?
In other major-crisis-related news, I just told my husband I was going to make some gazpacho, since he just got his tooth/gum fucked with by a dentist, and he said he doesn't like gazpacho. He. Doesn't. Like. Gazpacho. How did I just discover this? Who even stays married anymore, and why?
If this is the way we're going out, then I'm running out for some Marlboros and the finest single-malt I can find.
Maybe that's what it takes to stop 45 from psychotweeting. Whatever it is, I love it, especially at the end of the summer.
Dearest Abigail - The blue birds I have been using to dispatch my letters to you from the front have all died in a colossal orange shitstorm. I fear I may never see you or the children again. Please tell William Junior I value him as a laborer. Yours ever, William.
From the washington examiner 8 minutes ago: The crash occurred on Thursday about one hour before a scheduled Social Media Summit at the White House was scheduled to take place. The president intends to discuss alleged bias against certain political ideologies across social media. Twitter and Facebook were not invited.
MOLLY YOU ARE THE HERO WE NEED
It's lunchtime on the west coast too so this is very annoying. Where will I get my snark while eating my sad desk salad??
I was literally just looking for somewhere to post "thank GOD twitter is down" since I can't... post it to twitter
I'll forward any missives you may have to my entire contact lists upon request.
I just subscribed to ASK MOLLY https://askmolly.substack.com/?utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=pss . BUT I CAN'T TWEET ABOUT IT
If this is it, then I'm running out for Marlboros and the finest single-malt I can find and hunkering down in front of this message board.
I came back 3 hours later because I like this better than Twitter.
Maybe it’ll stay down forever and we’ll all be freeeeeeeee
I am 27 years old and I work in tech and I am a snarky woman yet I have never used twitter, like, ever. Hmm.
I'm all stocked up on bourbon, but I'll have to resort to group text for whining and rage!
how journalists are howling into the void: SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Twitter says it is investigating a problem with its service . Users across the U.S. and elsewhere are not able to access Twitter.
I WILL POST ANY GIF SOMEONE NEEDS
Wait, what? I knew this day was coming. I just didn't think it was going to be today. Better stop for gin on the way home.
I'm trying not to panic
::obsessively refreshes this page::
Is it weird that I am literally saving open tabs for when I can tweet them?
so cold...so alone...rations dwindling...is this the end
For what's it worth, the Oval Office must be in a blind panic. #Schadenfreude
Also DJTrump today: “A big subject today at the White House Social Media Summit will be the tremendous dishonesty, bias, discrimination, and suppression practiced by certain companies. We will not let them get away with it much longer.”
I’m getting a keratin treatment right now. Those things take two hours!? How TF am I supposed to seethe with rage about five different things now!?
OMG, not Reddit! Hahahaha.
Thank you, Molly, for being our shelter in our...20 minutes of need!
Looks like Twitter's back.
I was working and didn't even know it was down until I got a WhatsApp message about it and then saw this in my email. THANK GOD. What if I'd missed the Twitter outage? Then I'd have nothing to talk about on Twitter when it's back up.
AaronBlake reported: At White House social media summit, Trump complimented his guests for “the crap you think of." So, we missed a lot.
I'm so sorry, everyone, i didn't know you got an email notification every time I posted and hearted. But not sorry, too. GIFS!
CNN: A conspiracy theorist, a meme creator and a plagiarist. Those are just some of the eyebrow raising attendees who will descend on the White House on Thursday for an event that will likely become a forum for airing claims of anti-conservative social media bias.
Does this mean I actually have to work on editing my MS? NOOOO!